How Mindfulness Meditation Can Help Us Deal With Difficult Emotions
Crying or Feeling Sad Sometimes is Totally Normal
Confession time: Sometimes, I cry during my meditation practice.
Sometimes I know why because I’ve come to my mat with a heavy heart or worries, and I want to use the session to help work through them. Other times, it just happens with no warning or conscious understanding of why.
When the latter happens, it can be unsettling at first. Still, if I’m being true to the spirit of mindfulness meditation, I can use it to help me observe and sit with what I’m feeling without judgment. To allow them to flow and be present for it and begin to understand why they are coming up at that time.
There’s a myth; maybe misinterpretation is a better way of saying it, that meditating always leaves you feeling good or better when you’re done. You’ll feel lighter, calm, peaceful, and enlightened somehow. And if you don’t, then you’re doing something wrong.
Here’s the truth: It’s not always like that, nor should it be.
Yes, most of us come to our meditation practice wanting to find or feel those things. However, if we come to it solely with that intent or expectation, we are doing ourselves and our practice a disservice.
Mindfulness meditation is not supposed to necessarily make us feel better immediately. Of course, it can. It can help us find calm during anxious times and ease our stress during challenging moments.
However, its true gift teaches us and allows us to be present and observant of our thoughts and feelings without judgment. All of them. Not just the good ones. With consistent practice, it can help us to find more ease with our uncomfortable thoughts and feelings.
Even better, in my opinion, It can give us a safe place to sit and ‘be’ with those feelings. To not ignore them or run away from them. For example, I came to one of my recent sessions feeling nothing unusual. Life had many stressful situations happening (unplanned home repairs, illnesses, the anniversary of my father’s passing, among others), but nothing I hadn’t dealt with before.
As I sat through a lovely affirmation meditation, I suddenly had tears streaming down my face. At first, I was like, “What’s this about?” but I let go and let it happen.
I can’t say specifically what triggered my tears in this meditation. Still, something signaled me to release the emotions I’d apparently been unconsciously suppressing. It allowed me to observe what was happening and to realize that all of these things going on in my life were still impacting me whether I realized it or not. It reminded me I needed to acknowledge them, allow myself to feel them, and to remember there is nothing wrong with those feelings.
Afterward, I didn’t feel overwhelming sadness, nor did I feel light and happy. Instead, I felt relief. Crying can be a soulful release. Mostly, I felt relief and gratitude for having this practice give me the space to observe and to process things I may not even realize I needed to!
Mindful meditation can give us space to sit and be with ourselves and our emotions non-judgmentally. When we allow ourselves to be open to this, it can help us become more at ease with uncomfortable stuff over time.
My advice to you, whether you are just starting out with meditation or you’ve been practicing for a while, is this:
Remember, there is no right or wrong way to feel during or after meditation.
It’s okay to come to your practice with an intention, but try not to come with expectations.
If you feel sad, confused, even mad, it’s okay. You’re not doing anything wrong!
Continue to work on observing your thoughts and feelings without placing value or judgment. This takes practice, but it can help you be more at ease when the uncomfortable stuff shows up over time.
And finally, be true to yourself. Yes, everyone can meditate, but meditating is not for everyone. If you’ve given your practice time, explored different styles, and you do not see the results or simply cannot find comfort in it, it’s okay to move on. Honoring your feelings and experience and not allowing yourself or others to place value or judgment on them is an act of mindfulness!
Low on time, but high on stress? I’ve recorded a soothing visualization meditation to help. Take a mini-vacation in under 10 minutes! You can grab the link here:
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